Today’s #TBT is an important life lesson for all the younger shells out there: The grass is always greener on the other side (but you can’t nom it so who cares!)

Listen up youngins I’ve got a story to tell you…

Once upon a time humom and I spent some time living with auntie @mymuffintopiswholegrainlofat and cousin chairman meow.  He’s a fun cousin, we both like treats and heat lamps and naps. But there was a little problem. I was jealous. Every time we’d hang out he would tell me everyone loved his glorious fur, and roll on his belly to show me. I wanted to be glorious too but I had no fur! No fair!  I had to get some!

So one day, when humom wasn’t looking, I snuck into the kitchen and collected all the tufts of fur cousin CM had left behind. I could be furry too! And I was! you can see it in the picture!

Unfortunately, the excitement of my newly acquired fur did not last long. No one said I was glorious, humom said I was silly! And being furry might get you compliments but it also gets you LOTS OF EXTRA LONG BATHS! WHAT? he didn’t tell me that!! ARGH!  *hmph*. Being furry was no fun.

After my bath (trying to escape from humom before, during and after) and a little time thinking (sulking ) I realized that being furry might not be for me and my shell is pretty glorious too, even without fur. It was an important moment. I now know that chairman meow and I are both glorious in different ways and this means I can avoid getting an extra long bath AND we can combine our gloriousness to get the humans to do whatever we want 😀

The End

China Drops the Hammer on Tortoise Smugglers


China Drops the Hammer on Tortoise Smugglers

A radiated tortoise in Madagascar (Photo: Insights/Getty Images)

A radiated tortoise in Madagascar (Photo: Insights/Getty Images)

by Richard Conniff/

Get caught smuggling illegal wildlife in most countries in the world, and you can expect a slap on the wrist. A very gentle slap at that. “Somebody could take an AK-47 and just shoot up a pod of pilot whales,” one frustrated investigator recently complained. “That’s the same as a traffic offense.”…

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