Wisdom From The Experts Pt 4 & 5 Two Turtle and Tort experts, two related pieces of wisdom to share about turtle and tortoise anatomy! Lori Neuman-Lee, PhD (@CheloniaGirl ), prof at Utah State University, says – “I wish people knew that turtles can’t come out of their shells…because their shells are part of their...
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Words of Wisdom from the Experts Pt 3- “I wish people knew how smart turtles are. They learn quickly where their food comes from; if from a human then they learn that specific person” Is what Michelle Kelly (@MichelleKellyCW), public speaker about Reptiles and amphibians, wishes more people knew about turtles and tortoises. Those of...
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Words of wisdom from the experts pt 2 Check out this INCREDIBLE photo by Amanda Hipps, @biophilamanda, one of the experts who responded to our #worldturtleday question. Amanda studies the animals that live in gopher tortoise burrows. In case you didn’t know, gopher tortoise burrows are home to hundreds of other animals. Their status as endangered directly...
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This year, in honor of #WorldTurtleDay, we asked herpetologists, biologists, rescues, and rehabbers, to tell us what they wish more people knew about Turtles and Tortoises. Starting today we’ll be sharing a few responses a day! Let’s learn more about the animals we love from people who have devoted their lives to protecting them. Biologist...
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Outside it’s finely warm. I’ve been released from house arrest. I was getting pretty tired being stuck in a bathroom, living inside a
cardboard box and surrounded by masses of UPS brown paper. My only form
of sustenance has been hay with the occasional carrot to tease me.
There they will be payback for this incarceration.
That’s right, I have joined my fellow turtles and tortoises for TORTPOCALYPSE 2015. Prepare to meet your doom humans. Waffles, a
fellow sulcata tortoise from Canada, may just be a pint sized fellow but
that tort has some smarts in that noodle of his. As soon as I hear of
the all out initiative to eliminate mankind I said where do I sign up!
Last night I stayed up and planned out my offensive for the lower 48 states. These are my plans so far:
Day 1: Take Whole Foods Grocery Store hostage until they surrender all
organic carrots. As soon as the carrots are freed, ravage the store and
leave no shelf standing. Spend the rest of the afternoon basking,
grazing and eating carrots to build up energy for Day 2.
Day 2: Ram PetSmart and free all captive tortoises and turtles. Stock
pile cuttlebones and bagged Orchard Hay. Take only the Orchard hay.
All other hay taste nasty. Annihilate the remaining PetSmart facility.
Recruit freed turtles and tortoises for tort army active duty. Check
out back lot for dandelions.
Day 3: Reenact this—
Day 4: Lay waste to all government buildings in downtown Mobile just because we can. Spend latter part of day accepting gifts of surrender
from humans.
Day 5: Level airport all except any one plane that will fly us to Canada to meet Waffles.
As soon as we arrive in Canada, Waffles and I and thousands of turtle
minions will join together as a whole shelled arm to continue our take
over of the world.
Okay. Sounds spectacular. I have enough time today to ram the side of
the house until mom comes out with carrots and hay. This will be my
final meal served by a free human.
We should spare any human capable of service to turtles and tortoise.
Mom is pretty good at that. I think I shall recruit her for tortoise
servitude.
