How to Approach a Turtle

thatsbelievable:

STEP ONE: Move slowly, almost imperceptibly. The turtle will interpret any sudden movement as an attack, and respond accordingly.

STEP TWO: Greet the turtle in its native language. If you don’t know the turtle’s native language, then learn it.

STEP THREE: Present your offering to the turtle. Standard offerings include lettuce, carrots, or, if you forgot to bring an offering, yourself.

STEP FOUR: Pray — PRAY — that the turtle accepts your offering. If it does, then you will enjoy a long, happy life of peaceful co-existence.

STEP FIVE: If it doesn’t, well, the alternative is too terrible to contemplate.

Accurate! Especially the part about the offering. 

Mine has been accepted! Phew! 

sleepytoto:

Hahaha we are teaching toto how to swim?! 😂😂🙌🏼🙌🏼🐢🐢 #tortoise #russiantortoise #funny #silly #cutepets #cutereptiles #cuteanimals

HEAD RUBS! best motivation (thats not edible).

What a pretty shield you have, ami Cap!Do you think ami Cap would let me try on his shield, Mommy?The back of this shield looks like it would fit perfectly on my shell!Oh my goodness, ami Cap said yes!Watch out, bad guys!  Captain Kirby is on the loose!Hang on, what's under this couch?Why can't I fit?!Captain Kirby is momentarily distracted.Hmm...I think I need a bigger shield to help me get under this couch...Perfect!  A giant Cap shield!

thewhimsyturtle:

Adventures with gckaf!

Meeting two different Captain America’s at once was very exciting, especially when I got to try on a shield! But I couldn’t help being distracted by something under the couch. Maybe friend gckaf’s handmade life-size Cap shield will help me get under the couch!

thewhimsyturtle:

Time for a Tall Tuesday! Did you know I love phones? I can be sleeping sound as can be, and as soon as the phone rings, BAM! I am up and stretching my neck towards you as tall as I can go and giving you my most intense tortie stare while you are on the phone!

These photos are from back in May, but I started doing my excited phone stare again yesterday! I also ran around in my enclosure and climbed so hard that I kept flipping over! (Don’t worry, I was rescued immediately every time, and we fixed it to make it harder for me to flip over.) I also threw a fit in both of my baths today, just like my normal bath-hating self. Best of all, I ate some chicory after my morning bath! Mommy is thrilled at how much progress I am making!

TEAM KIRBY FTW! 

thewhimsyturtle:

Time for a Tall Tuesday! Did you know I love phones? I can be sleeping sound as can be, and as soon as the phone rings, BAM! I am up and stretching my neck towards you as tall as I can go and giving you my most intense tortie stare while you are on the phone!

These photos are from back in May, but I started doing my excited phone stare again yesterday! I also ran around in my enclosure and climbed so hard that I kept flipping over! (Don’t worry, I was rescued immediately every time, and we fixed it to make it harder for me to flip over.) I also threw a fit in both of my baths today, just like my normal bath-hating self. Best of all, I ate some chicory after my morning bath! Mommy is thrilled at how much progress I am making!

TEAM KIRBY FTW! 

brandybacklash:

How to get your tortoise to workout: try to barricade them in a room so you don’t lose them down the cat door for the basement. Use a child’s truck filled with toys that you think is heavy to block, make sure said tortoise can see under the truck.

Lmao! I keep setting it up and he’s determined to get under it so he just pushed it around. Every time. Silly bud. #tortoises #tortoise #redfoot #redfoottortoise #Paco #exercise #tortoiseworkout #tortoisebutt #silly

“Its hard work being a tortoise! Always pushing stuff, giving other animals rides.. I mean whats that silly dog doing right now.. resting? kitty is just staring with those lazer eyes.. how about giving me a hand!”

thewhimsyturtle:

Lunchbox Love

Tortle tower squared!

The pretty phone charm was a present from the awesome (Iri)epsi last December! I completely forgot to post these photos before now. >.<

Kirby was really sleepy the day I took these photos, but he did remember not to burp when introduced this time. Unsurprisingly, Lunchbox was not thrilled with the whole arrangement.

Oh Lunchbox, you were always so tolerant of your little brother…and so beautiful while being you. <3 <3 

thewhimsyturtle:

Lunchbox Love

Tortle tower squared!

The pretty phone charm was a present from the awesome (Iri)epsi last December! I completely forgot to post these photos before now. >.<

Kirby was really sleepy the day I took these photos, but he did remember not to burp when introduced this time. Unsurprisingly, Lunchbox was not thrilled with the whole arrangement.

Oh Lunchbox, you were always so tolerant of your little brother…and so beautiful while being you. <3 <3 

thewhimsyturtle:

Lunchbox Love

Tortle tower squared!

The pretty phone charm was a present from the awesome (Iri)epsi last December! I completely forgot to post these photos before now. >.<

Kirby was really sleepy the day I took these photos, but he did remember not to burp when introduced this time. Unsurprisingly, Lunchbox was not thrilled with the whole arrangement.

Oh Lunchbox, you were always so tolerant of your little brother…and so beautiful while being you. <3 <3 

thewhimsyturtle:

Lunchbox Love

Tortle tower squared!

The pretty phone charm was a present from the awesome (Iri)epsi last December! I completely forgot to post these photos before now. >.<

Kirby was really sleepy the day I took these photos, but he did remember not to burp when introduced this time. Unsurprisingly, Lunchbox was not thrilled with the whole arrangement.

Oh Lunchbox, you were always so tolerant of your little brother…and so beautiful while being you. <3 <3 

thewhimsyturtle:

Lunchbox Love

Tortle tower squared!

The pretty phone charm was a present from the awesome (Iri)epsi last December! I completely forgot to post these photos before now. >.<

Kirby was really sleepy the day I took these photos, but he did remember not to burp when introduced this time. Unsurprisingly, Lunchbox was not thrilled with the whole arrangement.

Oh Lunchbox, you were always so tolerant of your little brother…and so beautiful while being you. <3 <3 

thewhimsyturtle:

Lunchbox Love

Tortle tower squared!

The pretty phone charm was a present from the awesome (Iri)epsi last December! I completely forgot to post these photos before now. >.<

Kirby was really sleepy the day I took these photos, but he did remember not to burp when introduced this time. Unsurprisingly, Lunchbox was not thrilled with the whole arrangement.

Oh Lunchbox, you were always so tolerant of your little brother…and so beautiful while being you. <3 <3 

thewhimsyturtle:

Lunchbox Love

Tortle tower squared!

The pretty phone charm was a present from the awesome (Iri)epsi last December! I completely forgot to post these photos before now. >.<

Kirby was really sleepy the day I took these photos, but he did remember not to burp when introduced this time. Unsurprisingly, Lunchbox was not thrilled with the whole arrangement.

Oh Lunchbox, you were always so tolerant of your little brother…and so beautiful while being you. <3 <3