failsnet:

Tumblr Fails.net – He’s slow but determined

I’ll bet you 50 bucks that kitteh got a big chomp in under 3 and was then chased around the house for a while. Its this myth of slow thats really allowed the turtpocalypse to grow bwahaha

brandybacklash:

“But I don’t wanna go to bed. ITSNOTBEDTIMEMOM! I own this mountain! Ha.” Come on Paco. What in the heck. #Paco #redfoot #redfoottortoise #tortoise #tortoises #troublemaker #ouchmyneck #whatareyouevendoing #girlswholovereptiles

If you climb over her eyes, human definitely won’t notice you’re still awake! She can’t see you! #MtHumanDominated

herman365:

Day 152: Herman gets an upgrade

Due to an unfortunate dishwasher incident, Herman’s bath tub required replacing and the guardian decided that it was time to upgrade Herman to a china bowl. Herman wasn’t sure that this was a step in the right direction. Although he enjoyed the fact that his bath water stayed warmer, longer, he did not find the smooth edges to be much of an improvement over the last bath tub. In fact, at least with the old tub there was some chance at escape because he could see over the edge, but with this one it was completely hopeless.

Oh no! Herman, that’s horrible news! Less traction! Darn guardian. Zoya’s humom is intrigued by this idea but Zoya’s gonna get wafflesworld and thewhimsyturtle together to think of a new way of escape for you. We must thwart these humans and their bathing devices!