Turtle Emergency Preparedness:

step 1: Stop. Drop (or retreat into your shell) and refrain from rolling so you don’t squish your organs.

Step 2: wait till you can no longer deny the scent of potential noms, can feel the sun on your shell, and hear no human machines flying by, then peak out to make sure its safe. 

Step 3: Stretch that neck real good and take a big sniff of the fresh warm air. 

Step 4: notice potential zombie and assess if its a danger or simply a human being curious. 

Step 5: Once identified as human, pose for the human so it and its internet friends can know the glory that is your existence (make sure to to show off that glorious neck while giving a subtle knowing side eye). 

Step 6: Remind the human you are far too wise to hang around and proceed on your nom finding mission. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *